The Hide & Seek of the Heart

  This post began a long time ago, namely back in May.  Here is what I had, and once you get to the end, I'll launch into part two starting today, the last day of July 2011.


  I've been feeling a little emotional lately.  I think part of it has to do with this cleanse, which is incredibly fulfilling but definitely releases emotion as toxins leave your body.  The other part of it has to do with my heart.


  Which gets me thinking about the heart in general.  Love, more specifically.


  I've witnessed several romantic ironies and issues in (my and) my friends' lives.  I've already waxed on self love (although there may be future posts regarding how we can romance ourselves).  What about love for others and their feelings for us?


  I've heard so many of my friends (male and female) complain about the "unrealistic" expectations that disney movies set up for us.  We're raised on fairy tales and love at first sight with no sign of issues between romantic partners, so we expect that we should have some grand romance of our own.  Snow White is resurrected by true love's kiss and is carried away by a handsome prince on a white stead into a pool of light, broken only by the outline of a statuesque castle in the distance.  As we begin to grow, we realize that will we actually be carried off into a literal bright future?  Eh, probably not.  But there's still the idea of walking into a room, seeing someone, and the room stopping.  You're familiar with the image I'm sure: eyes meet, everything freezes, sparks ignite, fireworks explode, blushing and flushing ensue etc.  Do you think this is possible?


  Pssssst, guess what.  It IS possible.  It's happened to me.  It remains one of my dearest memories to this day, despite the fact that the person ended up being a poor match (much to my dismay).  It took me a little while to heal my heart, but that's a different story! In any case, the negative part is the subject matter you don't see often in the cartoons, if at all.  What are the chances that Cinderella finds out the Prince is dishonest or chews with his mouth open?


  I could go on and on about these things, but I'm pretty sure you've gotten the gist of what's been said so far.  We all want epic love (or at least I do!) and to maintain that emotional high.  It can be intense, it can be energy sapping, it can be incredible, and it can be energizing!  But I digress from the original inspiration and intent for the direction of this post.


  I had a few moments this week that brought me to an interesting revelation that has proven to me that our hearts like to play a little hide and seek from time to time.  Do our hearts literally go find a new place in our bodies to hide while we try to fish them back out without dying?  No.  Sounds a little gross and morbid, doesn't it?  


  ...and that was as far as I got.  Fast forward a couple of months to July/August.  Interesting that this is something I'm still mulling over in my brain.  I have several large life changes coming my way.  Did you ever play Mariokart on the Ninendo 64?  If you haven't (and even if you have) please forgive me using Super Mario as a descriptive example of the metaphorical tectonic shifting in my near future.  I'm feeling a bit like the final course.  YES Mario fans, Rainbow Road!  You are racing the other players on this crazy up and down path.  It's composed of rainbow strips in vibrant hues, and in addition to the crazy things other players can leave in your path (little icons that make you explode, banana peels to slip on, things to trip you up, etc) there are these giant bomb things on chains that make you fly in the air and completely halt you for a good ten seconds.  So, those things are the things that hinder you.  Then there are the things that help you.  You can possess these aforementioned objects to drop and throw at passers by (if you so choose).  The kicker in all of this is I'm pretty sure in this level it's impossible to forfeit by throwing yourself off the edge of the track; the game keeps you there.  Does this sound like life, yet?  There are unavoidable obstacles in your path that you must negotiate, and there are people that may or may not choose to use objects (words, stories, confrontations) against us, just as we may choose or not choose to do the same.  There are also points in this level where you cross a square and you get a huge boost of speed, thrusting you ahead as fast as your little wheels can carry you into the abyss.  Okay okay, it's not the abyss, it's Mariokart, but you get my drift.  I feel poised at that moment.  I'm a few squares behind the speed booster and before I know it I'm going to be shooting ahead into a new space in my life.  And honestly, it's kind of scary!


  Those of you who are particularly close to me know I didn't have the best experience in my undergrad (let's make that quite a vast understatement) and I'm a hot second from jumping back into academia.  I've been uncomfortably yet familiarly settled into a period of transition this last year and a lot of things have happened. I found my way to healing (or beginning to heal) some very deep personal wounds.  I found a new artistic community.  I found a passion for nutrition, fitness, and self compassion (still working on all of those things).  I lost thirty pounds.  I rediscovered my voice and rekindled my joys in life, conquered some fears, and remembered what it feels like to laugh out loud.  I've been home with my Mom (who is incredible and one of the strongest women I've ever had the privilege of knowing, let alone being raised by) and it's time for me to have a place of my own again.  It may sound melodramatic, but after having been seriously depressed for much of my undergrad, having beaten that depression I feel like it's time to not just rejoin the living, but to ENJOY life!  That's what this period of transition was for, and it's been successful.


  That being said, the accompanying vulnerability is a little daunting.  I've grown to find Vulnerability and my ability to access it comforting.  Quite frankly that's part of our job as performers.  We analyze the human condition so we can reveal it through people that we create--we quite literally become other human beings on stage, lifting these souls off of papers and manuscripts for the world to see and learn from.  When we audition for the opportunities to find these characters that will temporarily inhabit us, we take risks.  We open ourselves to possible judgments and applause.  I find the process of auditioning positive and exciting, but this vulnerability is a tad different from our every day vulnerabilities...or is it?  The secret here is that we all take risks, but in a way it's easier to take them as someone else.  Why else do people drink for courage or date using online technology?  Doing these things convinces us that the stakes aren't as high.  That's one reason I've never been fond of drinking.  I know it can be fun socially, but I like finding experiences to grow from, may it be approaching a man and asking for his phone number or auditioning for Juilliard to continue my education.  As my Father says, if we didn't fear things, we wouldn't be brave.  And taking risks can help us to cultivate a more rational response to our emotions.  As my Father also says, "If I feel like I'm going to wake up tomorrow and be the Queen of England, am I?"


  So I guess what I'm saying through this egocentric self examination is that fear can be good.  I'm moving to a new town, embarking on a new degree, opening myself up to new goals and experiences, and am bound to meet new colleagues and friends.  In my personal experience, these times of vulnerability are the times we learn the most about ourselves as people.  Why do you think being in our twenties sucks so badly?  For those of you out of the twenties?  KUDOS!  I hear once you hit thirty things really look up in terms of saying bye bye to adolescent angst and other things that seemed very important at the time, but now really just don't matter anymore.  I'm beginning to find that already in that I could care less about rumors and others' bad behavior (I know me, you know you, you don't know me nor I you.  Why should our opinions of each other alter who we feel we are as people?).  Interesting that my closest friends trend toward thirties and forties (except my lovelies Ashley, Reinet, and Marybeth!).


  So in an effort to wrap this up and marry my rant to my earlier musings on the heart, here we go: we think we know what we want, and we seem to feel we know what to avoid.  But in the long run, sometimes we find what the heart has been seeking all along by taking risks and diving head first into our vulnerability rather than running from it.


  Life is not always easy, nor is it always kind (at least the people and experiences we encounter may not be).  So, great, you say, freakin GREAT!  Life STINKS!  But take a moment and flip back through your brain's scrapbook of experiences and think of all of the obstacles you've tackled.  Relive those moments where you thought you could never do what you accomplished.  Whether it be public speaking, proposing to your wife, running a marathon or applying for that promotion?  These things take real bravery, my friend.  We are life warriors.


  Life can be hard, but I truly believe with every fiber of my being that we are here to love each other.  There are moments I've been alone and suddenly felt a great sense of Love.  I felt like someone, somewhere, really and truly loved me.  And the moments when it's been tangible have more than eclipsed any given period of depression or suffering I've experienced.  Isn't it funny how that works?  What that means to me, is that Love (whether you view it as a deity, feelings for each other, whatever) is infinitely more powerful and grand on any scale than negativity or badness.  People who suffer are playing hide and seek with their hearts.  If we loved ourselves and each other with a little more compassion and were a little less trained to avoid our own vulnerability, I think we would move on from hide and seek to embrace and cherish.


  Much love to you all; thanks for bearing with me.


  Namaste.

Taking That Sick Day...or 12 (And a Myriad of Other Things)

  Oh hey there!  Long time no talk!  Want to know why?


  Essentially my life exploded.  I burned the candle at more ends than were readily available and after inhaling at some unfortunate moment when someone was exhaling or sneezing out some bug, I won the prize!  If by prize you mean viral pharyngitis.  I've been sick for eight days and had to perform for three of them.


  The thing that really stinks about viral pharyngitis is that because it's viral, there aren't any antibiotics they can give you to cure the bug.  I typically don't promote or enjoy pumping bodies full of antibiotics, but when you have to perform and your throat swells so that you have trouble breathing as you normally would, that's when exceptions are made.  The doc ended up prescribing me zithromax in case I have strep and also gave me a steroid to decrease the swelling in my respiratory system so that I could perform.  I luckily made it through this weekend but it was definitely the toughest performing while sick experience I've had thus far.  I'm not accustomed to my voice acting out so suffice it to say it was an exceptional learning experience.  


  What I learned from being sick and performing: if you keep your energy up and commit to your character, the audience won't know you're sick (even if you sound sicky-poo when you talk).  I'm also an expert at using a neti pot now, which I was a little squeamish about trying.


  I have two or three days until closing weekend of the show begins.  The show has been so successful that we actually added two performances, so we'll be running the show five times in four days.  I'm hoping I'm at least back to 80% by then.  I can get through the show now but it would be nice to be a little more comfortable physically.


  If you're in town and are interested in seeing the show (or if you're out of town and just interested to know more) here is the interview they aired on our local PBS station.  The segment I'm in starts at about ten minutes into the interview, but our darling director and friend Craig Bond is the first chunk and it's definitely worth delving into.  Click the link!  Do it!  Pretty please?

http://www.infocustv.org/infocustv/episode_archive/Entries/2011/5/20_in_focus_with_eden_lane_315_Grey_Gardens.html

  The show has been great and I will write a new blog post about it. I have pictures from the dress rehearsals and some other cool tidbits that I promised I would write about!  Blog catch up time!

Backstage during dress rehearsal with a Crazy Sexy Salad!  Curly hair was added the next day!

  In addition to being sick I have some bad news: I have to drop out of yoga teacher training.  It's been extremely transformative already, but my family and I just can't afford it right now.  What's sad is it's one of the cheaper programs in the country and it's a phenomenal one (I can't emphasize that enough).  I don't know when I'll have the opportunity to finish, but I plan on keeping yoga a big part of my life.  It's been my center for the last couple of months!  There will be a whole section on things I took away from my time there this summer once I'm not a sack of sick and have some energy again.  My body woke me up at 4 AM this morning in a coughing fit.

Yes, that is a giant gallon of water!  Sick supplies!

  I realize that this isn't a happy, glittery blog post, but sometimes our bodies have to slow down and heal so we can reclaim our sparkle.  Since I had to stop my cleanse part way through when I ran out of money (my first yoga payment was just under a grand), I plan on re-starting the program from the very beginning once I've healed so I can get whatever leftover steroid-ness and medications floating around my body out of there!

  Here's a sampler plate of the blog posts to come this summer:

• Closing night of Grey Gardens the Musical, complete with kleenex and photography!
• A dating exposé!
• Kayaking!
• Kangoo class!
• En pointe work in ballet!
• Fitness goals!
• Adventures with our secret guest, MBFF!
• What goes into learning an opera role!
• And, of course, attempt 2 at the Adventure Cleanse!

  Thanks for sticking with me!  I won't leave you again assuming this bug kicks the bucket!

  All my love and namaste my darling friends!

  Miss Maggie

Adventure Cleanse Day 5

  Hello my dears!  Here is a check in post to let you know how this Crazy Sexy Adventure Cleanse is going!

  Tough stuff: I have a little bit of nausea from time to time, mostly in the morning when I have to have my water with lemon and tea before my green juice.  I must confess if my tummy is feeling especially upset I cut out the lemon.  I'm not a big lemon fan it seems...but as soon as there is a sip of green juice in my system I automatically feel better.  In addition to the nausea, I have been getting a little emotional like I said up above in the video.  It's nothing unmanageable but it is interesting how cleansing toxins out of your system can bring up any emotional hindrances that we may be suppressing or trying to work through.  That being said I ended up having a pretty sizable personal revelation this evening (check out my Hide & Seek of the Heart post for more on this).  The only other things I'm having issues with are making sure I don't eat three hours before bed.  I'm typing this at 1:30 AM and have somewhere to be at 11 AM tomorrow, and I stopped eating at 1 because I got home late from a benefit concert.  So yes, in order to keep up with my goal I'm going to stay up until 4 and sleep until 10.  I'm going to sit down and plan out the rest of this week better.  It's not an issue when I can sleep in but my show opens in less than a week and yoga training starts in exactly a week, so I need to make sure my sleep schedule is on track.

  Not-So-Tough Stuff: I love how in touch with my body I feel!  I thought I was in touch before but now I feel amazing!  I know as soon as I'm hungry, and the food I'm eating is filling and rejuvenating to my system.  I know when I'm full right away, too.  It's like a switch.  I've also lost three pounds and have big bursts of happy energy.  And like I listed above, the emotional junk that was stirred up through the release of toxins actually helped me figure a couple things out that I've been stressing over.


  And as I said before, these cucumbers I got were ENORMOUS!  I drank so much green juice today (and I have to admit I'm getting addicted; I'm excited now for my AM juice fest).  Take a look at my pitcher after I finished:

  In any case, I apologize for the lack of wit and spice in this post, it's more of a crunching numbers and tabulating facts to check in kinda post, but I assure you there will be ones with a little more spunk coming in your near future!

  Namaste!

Hopes, Dreams, and Wonderful Things

  So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.  This post is going to be a random conglomerate of these thoughts, so please bear with me because I think you may get a few warm fuzzies and feel goods out of it!


  I've been thinking about our worldly state of affairs and how currently things can be a little grim.  In wondering how we can change things, two separate memories come to mind.  Both of these relate to my participation in yoga (of course).


  1. I read something really astoundingly simple yet profound in my yoga journal a couple of months ago and it's stuck with me since.  Every time someone treats me poorly or is disrespectful I can't help but think of it.  Think of someone who really hurt your feelings.  More specifically think of a person who you think is a horrific excuse for a human being.  ANYBODY.  


  Got it?


  Good.


  Guess what.  That person most likely isn't a bad person.


  Now, if you thought of a friend who was just a little nasty to you, of course you will agree that your friend isn't a bad person at all; maybe just having a bad day.  If you thought of someone else or someone who hurt you really deeply (I certainly have a specific person in my brain) read on.  Well...read on anyway whomever you selected!


  Has the suspense built enough?  Here we go:


  According to this article, in our hearts and souls we are perfect.  Imagine that in your core, where the real you dwells, you are a diamond.  Now, as things get a little murky and dirt starts to cake on top of that diamond, we get confused.  This dirt corresponds with our behavior and suffering.  Confused?


  Here's the sitch: it's rare that a person behaves badly and doesn't come to the conclusion that he or she behaves that way because he or she is a bad person.  It's easy to sink into self pity, self hatred, indulge or overdo that behavior, and it can become a disease (i.e. alcoholism, depression, etc).  We judge ourselves so harshly that rather than be our own allies, we jump to the worst possibility to explain what's happening.  The problem here is that this behavior is typically an expression of underlying suffering that we may not have isolated.  Typically this "bad" behavior (drinking excessively, overeating, bullying) is an outlet for this suffering.  Rather than try to search out the suffering and heal it, we blame ourselves and label ourselves as "bad".  This isn't to say that the behavior is acceptable, but it helps to know that in helping to heal and treat ourselves with love and respect (i.e. self compassion) that we can stop these feelings of inadequacy, suffering, and problems hiding beneath the surface of our psyche.  When we address the real problems, we clean the muck off of the diamond so we can truly shine and succeed.


  2. Keep in mind the above concept as we move on.  In my yoga class, my teacher Sarah told us about an experiment done in the now playing documentary I Am.  Essentially it revolves around experts and geniuses asked why our planet is in such terrible condition and what we can do about it.  This experiment took an energy field and hooked this field up to a man and to yogurt.  Yes, you did read that correctly.  So literally it was a man connected by wire to a big space, and another wire on the other side connected to yogurt.  The man was asked questions about love and marriage.  He had recently undergone a bad divorce and as his mood grew stormy, his energy shifts affected the yogurt!  So the take away?  We are able to influence EVERYTHING.  Plants are living things.  Our energy affects nature, it affects the environment, thereby affecting each other.  We are all connected on one huge energy grid.  If we took the time to take care of ourselves (hint hint, look back at number one in this post) not only would we heal any underlying suffering but change ourselves, therefore we would change our energies which could in turn change the world.  Pretty mind blowing stuff, huh?


  So the trick here is using available resources to tweak your mindset so that you move from dark and gloomy to bright and shiny!  It's interesting how a change of energy not only influences those around you, but how this change can bring things of the same nature into your natural orbit.  For example: I went through a deep depression and I got so used to things being dismal that whenever another bad occurrence would happen, the situation typically ended in me being a hot mess and wondering why yet another issue was rearing its ugly head in my life.  It wasn't until I was truly ready to face my issues and work through the suffering that I began to heal, and as I healed and treated myself and my body with respect, I cultivated self awareness and compassion.


  Guess what happened.


  Good things.  Rewarding experiences.  New friends and opportunities.  Confidence.  Drive.  My ambition reawakened and I found direction.  I started to trust my intuition which led me back to my dreams.  Since I moved home, a lot of my dreams have come true through my own work, but I do believe that these things came into my orbit because of the internal shift that happened when I finally allowed myself to thrive.


  Does this sound arrogant?  I hope not.  Selfish?  I hope not.  But guess what?  In order to be SELFish or SELFless we have to locate and support our inner and true selves.  This itty-bitty shift in the mind can move internal mountains.


  My good friend from high school and I were discussing this earlier, and I will share what she had to say:


  "We carry a lot of garbage around with us all the time.  That's why I find [Crazy Sexy Diet] so inspiring, because it's about being brave enough to treat yourself well and making sure that you can do that in whatever sustainable fashion works for you...  Our culture says that you have to be selfless but you can't help others until you help yourself." -- The Gorgeous Miss Amanda Bauer


  Beautiful.


  You know how the radio plays all of these gorgeous songs geared towards the romantics out there?  They are messages of love and encouragement.  Do you find yourself singing along?  Try singing the words to yourself.  Sometimes it's hard to treat ourselves with the respect we deserve.  Think about how wonderful it would/will feel when you actively love and fight for yourself.  You are an incredible human being with an enormous capacity for emotion, hopes, dreams, and wonderful things.  You are a light.  Let it shine.


  This one is for you.  Sing it for yourself.

Namaste.

Adventure Cleanse Day 1

  I've done it my friends!  I had my first cup of green juice and it was pretty darn tasty!  I do have to get used to it, but it's really neat.  There are so many layers of veggies that different flavors pop up as you go through your cup (or in my case, as suggested by Kris in the book, a wine glass to add some ooh la la).

  Before I could make my green juicy goodness, however, I had to put together my juicer.  It wasn't that hard to set up and I have to say I did get a certain satisfaction out of washing it (before set up and after juicing) and setting it up.  It may seem trivial, but taking the time to create something that will aid in your pursuit of health and happiness is pretty darn rewarding.

  I didn't actually think the idea of drinking vegetable juice was that weird (minus tomato juice or soup; really not my thing) until one of my friends commented that it was strange my drinking lettuce!  I suppose it is kind of weird, but after I successfully acquired a taste for kale about a year ago, I've never looked back!  Luckily drinking it brings me almost the same level of satisfaction as chewing it (okay...that may be a slight stretch but it really wasn't so bad)!  

  The only downside to today is that I need to buy more groceries.  I definitely am ready to go with fruit, veggies, ginger root, and almonds, but I'm going to pick up some brown rice crackers and hummus (it's hard to find hummus that isn't super processed in some stores).  We'll also see how things go this evening.  My schedule is such today that it's going to be another late night trip to the gym, so hopefully I won't be completely starving when I do get to bed.  I'm used to eating late into the night, so that will definitely be a change.

  I need to try a new adventure this week or next week.  Any thoughts?  Kayaking, rock climbing...something cool!  If you have any ideas, share them in the comments section and I'll see what I can do.

  Namaste!

21 Day Cleanse Eve

  I went to yoga tonight and heard an amazing story.  I didn't hear the specifics of the man's name, but the story is true.  An Indian man began practicing yoga at the age of five.  For every year old he was, he did that many sun salutations per day.  That means that at sixty years old he did sixty sun salutations.  Yes, you read correctly!  Sixty.  Sun salutations.  Every day!  The story goes that he was so in touch with his body and spirituality that one day he said that on a specific future date he would see Krishna (the deity he felt most connected to), meaning he was approaching his time to die and move on from our world.


  On the prescribed day, he was 105 years old.  He woke up, had some water, and did 105 sun salutations.  Again, you read correctly!  He followed with his typical routine and eventually went on to sing and chant.  Twenty minutes in, he threw his arms up in the air and proclaimed vitale!  At that moment, he left his body behind.


  Can you imagine being so healthy and in touch with your body and spirituality/faith that you know when your time to leave is coming?  What a novel concept!  Not only was he healthy enough to do 105 sun salutations, eat, and chant the day he died, but in the three days it took his family to travel to India to have the funeral he had zero rigor mortis.  The combination of his clean eating habits and yoga practice kept his muscles supple and allowed his body to stay healthy, even for that short time after his death.


  Is it coincidence that my yoga teacher stressed the importance of digestion the day before I begin Kris Carr's 21 day cleanse from Crazy Sexy Diet?  It's possible, but I don't think so.  I'm preparing for tomorrow, and I'm more excited than ever.  Below you can see a sneak peak of my tools and get a sense for the plan:

  My Mother was kind enough to share a coupon to Macy's so I could have my very own juicer!  This one is a centrifugal juicer, meaning that it's easy to clean but that the nutrients don't keep as long, so I'll be drinking up right away post juice concocting as well as locking the remaining green goodness in air tight mason jars (for those of you interested in doing this cleanse, I found some at World Market for under $2).

  What I'm most excited about is getting more fluids, cutting out the few processed foods still in my diet, and the Green Juice and Guru Smoothie recipes!  What I think will be hard is cutting out the extra servings of fruit I am notorious for downing and eating it by itself.  I've read in other resources that fruit is best on its own (check out Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman; she wrote the preface for SCD).  It will also be tough stopping noshing three hours before bed, especially because there are evenings when I am at the gym until 1 AM because of my schedule.

  I'm also glad to start now because my show is about to launch into dress rehearsals, not to mention yoga teacher training (also known as YTT) is right around the corner!  I want my body to be in an optimal place to receive all the wonderful information that will be learned in YTT.  Also, with all the processed gunk out of my system, that can clear up any hidden negative emotions sneaking and skulking around our subconscious regions, meaning I may end up having greater emotional capacity on stage.  It's a win win situation (despite how much I will miss my apple and chocolate-almond butter combo over the next three weeks).

  Tomorrow I will start my day with purified water and lemon (and a pinch of cayenne if we have any to boost circulation), followed by two cups of green tea (decaf since I have to sing!).  For breakfast and a snack later in the day I'll have Green Juice, and the rest of the day will be filled with yummy vegetables, hummus, quinoa, and raw almonds.  That mixed in with daily physical activity (yoga, running, and a resistance band routine with my best friend from third grade a few evenings a week) should make for an interesting few weeks!  I'll be updating you every step of the way!  Wish me luck!

Check out my new lululemon crops!

  If you take anything away from this post, I hope it's the inspiration to treat you and your body with the love and care that you deserve.  Treat yourselves like the amazing people you are!

Namaste!

Explanations

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." --Jack Kerouac

  The above quote is the inspiration for the title of this blog.  It's been a favorite quote of mine for quite some time; I've always felt some great kinship with the descriptors in it.  As a performer, musician, and seeker of truth how can I not be moved by the text?  I'm sure my fellow artistic colleagues and yogis feel a similar buzzing in their hearts and tug at their tummies when reading it.


  The big connector to the quote for me is, in fact, yoga.  I was participating in an Anusara inspired class, which according to samadhiyoga.net is this: 

"Anusara-inspired Yoga- Founded by John Friend in 1997, Anusara® is a school of Hatha Yoga that combines a philosophy of intrinsic goodness with Universal Principles of Alignment. The practice is characterized by an emphasis on opening the heart, both physically and emotionally, and a dedication to celebrating the inherent goodness in all people and all things. Anusara® postures are expressed from the inside out, originating not from a wish to control the body with outside forces-but from a deep, devotional feeling in the heart."

  I was in a class last night when the instructor took a moment to ask us a question.  "What would it feel like if you walked into the room as your best and highest self?"  The room swelled with the natural heat of of a space populated by warm bodies in late April as we, the pupils, considered the question.  "It's quite simple," he continued.  "Make the decision, and do it."  He infused us all with joy as he encouraged us to empower ourselves, demonstrating our inner strength by toning and strengthening ourselves physically on the outside.  By the end of the class I was sweating like mad, had done four rounds of Wheel Pose, had pushed myself, but also accepted myself.  As I relaxed in Savasana (Corpse Pose, the final pose of yoga classes where the mind can become still and one thanks his/her body for strength and the experience through class) I listened to the music Ian, our instructor, played on his Ukulele, plucking strings to form a dialogue of music; a stream of sound that helped me to cease any worrying and relax in the moment.  As his voice reawakened us, I discovered tears on my skin.  I had a moment of epiphany where I felt worthy of happiness and realized that I love myself.  We came to a comfortable seated position to end our class in unison, and as we bowed in traditional thank you to Ian (a gesture of respect between student and teacher is bowing of the head while saying "namaste", literally meaning "the divine within me honors the divine within you") a few stray tears raced down my cheeks.  The instructor and I shared a look as I collected my belongings, and as he turned to help another student with a question, I sneaked out the door, put on my coat, and stepped out of the studio to rejoin the outside world.  I didn't want to leave.


  Here is where the magic comes in: we have the ability to take that self empowerment to become our best selves every moment of every day.  It's staggering how we can be blinded by the simplicity of it.  Choose to be your best self, strive to be your best self, and you will be your best self.  And so I now choose to be my best self.


  This summer begins the rest of my life.  A life supported by self empowerment and self cultivated happiness and exploration.  If you so choose, you can follow my adventures, which will be updated frequently with pictures, thoughts, quotes, and potentially a bad joke here and there.


  Here is a preview of what is to come: a 21 Day Cleanse courtesy of Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr, my yoga teacher training (20 hours of yoga a week for 14 weeks?  Yes please!), the opening of my first show out of school as a principle role (take a sneak peek at dress rehearsal), climbing my first 14er, kayaking, meeting new people, and trying new things.  As I find little things that bring me joy, I will post them here in the hopes they can serve you as they serve me.


  Enjoy my friends, and namaste.